Damn the past

Well, today's POF date, K., was...meh.

He was polite enough, funny enough, and the conversation flowed pretty well, for a couple of strangers. He was decent looking. I don't have anything specifically bad to say about him. I'd probably go out with him again. No real urge to make an effort to make that happen, though.

I think I have been spoiled by the men in my past. Three, in particular.

Mr. Wonderful is ancient, ancient history. We were together for 6 years, and lived together for 5. We've been broken up longer than we were together, but I am still searching for someone who will treat me as well as he did. He was absolutely devoted, but in a way that left me space to grow. He never failed to make me laugh, and brought me flowers for no reason. He bragged to his friends about how smart I was, and still sends my mother birthday cards, all these years later.

Mr UK is really only salient because he just spent a week spoiling me rotten, and reminding me how nice it is to be around a gentleman. Someone with a little culture. And have intellectual discussions. And no-holds-barred honesty.

M is haunting me right now. When I got in from the date with K, all I wanted was to be in M's arms. In fact, I phoned him, intending to invite him down to Ruralville for a 'visit', but he was busy, and I never got the words out. I'll probably be grateful for that in a week or so, but...Dammit.

I don't want to be pissing around with this dating crap. I want to skip the akwardness of meeting someone and getting to know them. I want to go directly to the part where you can just be in the same room, doing whatever, but not having to talk. The part where you know each other so well, you can predict what he'll do or say. The part where he makes your coffee with the right amount of cream and sugar, without having to ask. I want the comfort and trust and unspoken support.

Unfortunately, that takes years.

I'm not very patient.

What a waste...

...of two and a half perfectly good hours of my life that I'll never get back.

POF guy D. was a looker. He hadn't actually posted his picture online, so it was a pleasant suprise to see him when he walked in. Tall, dark, and stocky, with nice green eyes and full lips. My kinda guy. He had a really sexy, gravelly voice, too. I hadn't really been expecting sexy. That upped the expectations considerably.

We had spent an hour on instant messaging the night before, and it had been a great conversation. D. has a couple of degrees, and we were having a great intellectual debate. That's why I invited him for coffee in the first place. The faster I can get things out of cyber-sapce and into real life, the happier I am, as long as I think I can hold a decent conversation with the guy.

Unfortunately, IM sort of forces you to take turns speaking in a way that live conversation does not. D. spent almost the entire time talking. He asked about four questions, all of which were designed to give him a lead-in to his next topic. It was more of a soliloquy than a chat. Good thing he was nice to look at.

He might have been worth sleeping with, looking like that, but he was so self-centered and pompous that I can't imagine him being an attentive lover. Damn waste of a good-looking man.

On the bright side, D. paid the tab, so although it cost me time, it didn't cost me any money...I'd have been pretty bitter if I'd also had to pay...next time, I'll make sure to talk to them on the phone, first...

Actually, I HAVE talked to the next one on the phone already. It must be the "fresh meat" factor - I signed up for a POF account the day before yesterday, and I'm already e-mailing with five guys. Three of them are probably not going anywhere, just due to a lack of common interests.

POF guy K. managed to hold up his end of an hour-long phone conversation, but also managed to ask me a few things about myself, as well as keeping me in stitches for a fair chunk of the conversation. We're meeting for coffee tomorrow...wish me luck!