Moved In

Well, T. is more or less all moved in.

Friday and Saturday were the big days - a truckload from his place, then a trip to his parents' on Saturday to collect a couch they had been storing for him.

T's parents scare me. They are very religious, and I am very...not. T decided a long time ago that Christianity didn't do it for him, though both his brothers are still practicing. I don't have a problem with religion, but I just have no exposure, and am not interested in being converted. It is difficult to remember that T's parents honestly believe T's immortal soul is in major and immediate danger, though it does occasionally explain their reactions to things.

Saturday, I was leery of going with T to get the couch. However, his parents invited us (both of us!) for dinner, so I couldn't really back out.

Actually, the dinner went quite well. T's dad was as friendly and chatty as last time, and his mom was much more relaxed, for some reason. T took his dad out back to move the couch, leaving me with his mom, and we chatted about crafts for half an hour. The parents needed their truck back right away, so they followed us out to my house and wrestled the couch downstairs.

When they went to leave, T's mom gave him a hug...then gave me one, too. I guess it will be okay.



In other news, domestic bliss has been the order of the week. I mentioned to T how impressed I was that I really only had to tell him once about doing his 50%. I've had to remind him a couple times about little things that drive me crazy, but he really is getting it right most of the time. "Well, I told you to give me a little time to change," he said indignantly. I reminded him that I am not good at taking people's word for things. I believe in action. Now, I've seen action, and I must say things are looking a lot more hopeful. T is suddenly domestic, vaccuuming and doing dishes and calling on his way home from work to see if he should stop at the store to pick anything up. It's pretty sweet, actually.

I think he's a keeper.

Settling In.

Well, the countdown is on until T officially moves in...at the end of the month...in 4 days. Right at the moment, all it will change is the amount of furniture in the house. He hasn't slept at his own home in weeks.

Since I snapped at him about housework, we had a little discussion about what, exactly, constituted 50%. Little things, like doing the dishes includes drying them and putting them away. Like I don't want all the mental responsibility for tracking which chores need to get done, or having to ask him to do them.

I gotta hand it to him, the boy learns fast.

This weekend, we went for a nice drive, then Sunday was cleaning day. We both just got at it. Monday, I had a girlfriend over for supper. I cooked, we ate, then I took my girlfriend out to show her the backyard. By the time we got back inside, the dishes were done. I coulda kissed him. In fact, I did.

Yesterday, we were both exhausted from work. We dug some leftovers out for supper, then sat in side-by-side comfy chairs, reading. He was dozing off, and it was only 6:30, so I offered to make him a coffee. As I went to stir in the sugar, T came up behind me and gave me a big hug.

"Aah, domestic bliss," he said.

Indeed.

Peaks and valleys

I am much more stable when I'm single.

A couple days ago, I was floating, realising I'd finally found a guy who was serious about getting serious.

Today, not so much.

T got a random day off work; due to a slowdown, there was nothing to do. We found out at 0730.

At 0815, I had already petitioned my boss for a half-day off.

At 0930, I was on the phone with T, hearing that he had finished the dishes, and was moving on to the vaccuuming.

At 1000, the boss agreed to the half-day.

At 1030, T and I were back on the phone, planning an evening together.

At 1130, I discovered an important meeting would be happening at 1300, and I couldn't miss it.

At 1430, I finally got out of the office, full of anticipation.

At 1445, we were both sitting on opposite ends of the couch, playing on our computers, at his request for some 'down time'.

At 1700 hours, I ran to the grocery store.

At 1930, I got up and put in a load of laundry. As I sat back down, I asked T if he would like to do something. He declined.

At 2030, T snuck off to bed.

I am sitting here in my livingroom, wondering why I wasted the holiday time to take part of a day off work. I was really eager to come home, but when I got here, he seemed utterly disinterested. I started out being fairly okay with that; he'd busted his butt cleaning house, and I could understand wanting to sit and relax for a bit. Once it started to drag on into hours of quality time with the computers, I started to get a bit pissy. I just don't get it: why plan an evening with me, convince me to take time off work, then ignore me when I get home? Now that he's gone to bed without even saying goodnight, I am seriously considering pulling out the fold-out couch...why sleep next to someone you'd rather kick?

I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, but I sure hate being ignored.

...And he's going to be moving in at the end of the month?!?

Parents

T has only ever introduced one girlfriend to his parents. It's a big, important step for him, and one that makes him very, very nervous. I told him quite awhile ago that I wasn't fussed about it one way or the other, that it could happen in its own time.

Then we decided to shack up.

T's parents are religious. Not just 'go to church once in awhile' religious, either. Really religious.

I told T that I'd rather meet his parents before I officially became "Devil Woman" by living in sin with their son.

Last night, I met the parents.



T's dad, G, shook my hand in both of his. T's mom looked like she was going to hug me, though I fended that one off. Apparently T having a real, actual girlfriend is a big deal. I was a little nervous, but managed to hold up my end of the conversation, and dinner was very tasty, which gave me something to focus on. I was very careful not to swear or take the Lord's name in vain. I didn't dig in to the food until after the prayer had been said. I managed not to embarass T too badly.

Actually, afterward, T said he thought they really liked me.

"Just wait till they meet my mom," I grumbled.


Sitting at home, later, deconstructing the evening, I mentioned to T that I am concerned about how his parents will react to the news that we are shacking up.

"They'll just have to get over it," T replied, "since you're going to be part of the family."

**melt**

Sugar

I am starting to see that I have lived alone long enough that shacking up is going to be...interesting.

I got up this morning, made coffee, poured my cup, added cream, then...aak! The sugar bowl was empty! No sugar in the cupboard, either. Dammit, coffee's no good without lots and lots of sugar! AAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!

I knew I was running low. I even had it on the shopping list. I figured that if I ran out before grocery day (tomorrow), I'd stop by the convenience store on the way home from work and get some. I knew I'd know before I ran out, as I had enough to fill the sugar bowl once more, so I didn't worry about it.

Except that T did the 'right thing', and filled the sugar bowl when it got empty. Had I noticed him doing so, it wouldn't have been a big deal. However, I didn't see, so I hadn't bothered to get more, 'knowing' that there was that last little bit.

Sigh.

Spill

Well, a whole evening without T. This may actually kinda suck.

He is at his own home, as his roomie's daughter is having a birthday party. Apparently she's pretty attached to him. It's interesting that he feels a certain sense of responsibility toward her. I like that. It's a good sign.

Funniest thing, one minute I worry that he might be getting into my head, next thing, I'm agreeing to shack up. I think perhaps he put something in my coffee that morning. The worst bit is that I'm not even having second thoughts - I am excited to start moving the furniture around.

Since our little tiff, we have had conversations about a few things. It went much better, though I probably still lack tact. He is going to try to learn not to get defensive when I have 'that tone', which sets him off, but may or may not actually mean I am annoyed.

I noticed that in the last couple of days, he has started picking up his empty beer bottles and putting them in the recycle bin, set out a new bar of soap in the bathroom when the old one finally dissolved, and laid a (machine washable) blanket down on the couch before sitting down in his filthy work clothes. There's hope, at least.

We have started establishing little routines. We go for long drives and longer walks on Saturdays (if he's not working) or Sundays. Somewhere away from town, places with trees and water. We wander riverbanks looking for pretty stones. He waits patiently while I take pictures, and only rolls his eyes about half the times I point the camera at him. Recently, we have started going to the pub near my house and playing pool. When I cook, he washes the dishes.

He is starting to fit more comfortably.

The other morning, we were standing in the kitchen, and he came up behind me and gave me a hug. I turned to face him. He always looks away when our eyes meet when we're doing that. He says it makes him feel 'mushy'. This time, he looked down at me and told me he was afraid I might be 'the one'. **melt**

This might just work out okay.

Absence...

...really does make the heart grow fonder.

I was gone on a conference for work last week, and, whaddya know, but I missed T. Quite a bit, actually. And he missed me, too. After one particularly draining day, all I really wanted was to curl up in his arms. Instead, I phoned, and we agreed to do that when I got home. And we did.

Sunday morning was a lay-in-bed kinda morning, something we've never really done before. We snuggled on the bed, just chatting about 'stuff'. Stuff like hopes and fears and goals, the deep things that don't really just come out in conversation. As we were chatting, my head on his chest, I realised I haven't felt that close to someone in a long, long time.

Then he brought up moving in together.

That one was slightly shocking. Shocking-good, mind you, but it came as something of a suprise to me that he would want to step things up, somehow. I've spent too many years around commitment-phobic guys, I suppose. I told him I needed a little more time, but by the end of the conversation, we had pretty much agreed on August.

Oh, my.