Monday, January 29, 2007

Who Not To Date #2

Who Not To Date #2

The Recidivist Commitment Phobe

(especially 2 years and 9 months after the FIRST time he dumped you)

[uber-especially when he's actually a nice guy AND a great lay]

Okay, everyone's gotta get one of these ones at least once in their lives. But really, the ex-sex never ends...at first, you think it's just an interim solution to your inability to get laid by anyone new. Next thing you know, you wind up spending weekends at his place, him bringing you coffee in bed in the morning and offering to babysit your dog while you go for your annual vacation to Europe. Three months later, you realize you haven't bothered making a date with anyone else in over two months. You comment to him that you're basically dating again. He concurrs, then two weeks later, he dumps you...again. Six weeks after that, he invites you over for a little hanky-panky, 'no strings attached'...Three years later, you realize you've just wasted an awful lot of your life on 'just a great lay...'




My dog shit in the spare room today. I realized it's a sign.

She had an attack of the runs a few weeks ago, and lost bowel control in that room. Of course, I didn't punish her; it was a medical thing, an accident. I guess I didn't clean it up well enough, as today she had an 'accident' that couldn't possibly have been accidental, for the second time in five days, right in the same spot.

This relates how? Well, girls, M. basically just shit in my spare room. He's inviting me to go waste another few months of my time trying to convince him to get over his commitment problem. He's doing it because he got away with it before. I guess I didn't clean it up well enough the last time. So, I called him and told him, straight up: if you ever do that again, I will change my phone number. Get it unlisted. Make sure we never speak again. He says he wants to salvage a friendship from the ruins...I told him that if he ever wants to be friends, he has to act like a friend, and friends don't shit in my house...

3 comments:

SWF42 said...

You could always give him your dog...and let your dog shit in his house for change.

:-)

jess said...

Lol, great plan...

Anonymous said...

"He says he wants to salvage a friendship from the ruins..."

How very noble of him... and it only took three years for him to reach this point. The trajectory of his maturation here is good I can see...