I have all the motivation in the world to stay as far from M. as humanly possible. I tell myself this every time he calls or emails, or even when a song on the radio remainds me of him. I remind myself that as great as he is, being around him always hurts, eventually. It's always great for a few months, then the big letdown when he reminds me 'this is not long-term' or 'we don't want the same things'. And it hurts more every time we go through this.
Why is this a battle?
Why does he have to be so FUCKING sweet?
Why can't he just grow up and realise that commitment does not mean the end of the world?
Why can't he recognise how wonderful I am?
Why do I email back?
Why am I considering going for a drive?
What am I going to do if I move to his city?
Damn.
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4 comments:
Aw Speed -
I'm sorry it's so hard for you. I think you really need to look at the why's...Why you email back, WHY you consider that drive. I imagine the WHY is because you harbour the hope that it will be different, you know how good it will feel, until it hurts like hell all over again.
Easy for me to say, but really, you need to love yourself more. Love yourself too much to let yourself inflict pain inward this way.
Think of it like this, would you let a child stick their hand into an open flame?
Take care of that little girl inside of yourself, protect HER.
And know that there is someone better out there for you, someone who makes you feel THAT good, and would never hurt you the way M does.
Just know, I feel your pain.
hugs
Been there, done that, ripped up his tshirt.
I am only the best at helping my friends get over guys. I should come with a money back guarantee. Call me. We'll go out. You'll forget all about how sweet he can be. Plus, you'll probably go home with some adorable shoes that were on sale.
Mist - on sale, or on some random bar hottie? I suppose either one would be novel ;)
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