Go figure, the sore throat of a couple of days ago has morphed into a full-on head cold, complete with hacking cough. Oral sex is NOT FUN with a sore throat and chesty cough...granted, HE'LL take the choking as a compliment, but still...
They say sex boosts your immune system. I can't imagine what sort of shape I'd be in if I weren't currently getting it three times a day.
To top it all off, I got a yeast infection. I NEVER get yeast infections, ever. Or at least most of the time, or certainly never when I'm not getting laid. Figures.
In Britian, they don't call them yeast infections.
Now, I have traveled a lot, and have effectively managed to pantomime "I need Immodium NOW' in more countries than I care to remember. I've managed it without excessive embarassment, even. Amazing what you can accomplish when you have that kind of pressing motivation.
However, I have to admit I faltered when trying to explain THIS ONE to an 80-year-old lady at Boots drugstore, especially when we theoretically speak the same language.
For the record, I'm more competent in French than British; at least in French, I know how to order a coffee with milk. That and how to ask where the washroom is. That's the extent of my French, mind you, but both of those things in British have stymied me. "Loo" and "white coffee" were not part of my vocabulary until recently.
The Boots lady was deaf, for starters, and clearly couldn't understand my accent anyway. They don't use the same terminology here as back home. She took me to the cough syrup aisle, clearly making an educated guess and not understanding a damn thing I was trying to say to her. I was afraid that I was going to have to resort to making funny faces and vigorously scratching my crotch. I wound up trying to explain, at the top of my lungs, that I had a common infection 'DOWN THERE', and knew for a fact that there is an over-the-counter remedy. If only I had been bright enough to start throwing out brand names, like 'Canesten'...
After several frustrating minutes (and attracting a small but very amused crowd), she finally caught on.
"Oh," She said with a kindly granny smile, "Why didn't you just SAY you had thrush?"
AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!
4 comments:
I think my friend had thrush in her boob from her baby. Is this even possible?
I remember storming the natural foods store with her looking for a natural remedy while her boob grew bigger and bigger by the minute. Worst car trip ever. Okay, second worst.
LOL, that is possible and no fun I would imagine.
I have a girlfriend who swears by yougurt, with active cultures, plain of course, no fruit. But she actually inserts the yogurt (I know, it SOUNDS weird, but she swears by it!)
Just give me a pill, thanks!
Mist - yes, you can get thrush on your breasts.
Same strain of virus.
Speed - FYI, homeopathic cure for YI's. A tampon dipped in natural yogurt. Sleep with it in over night. Lather, rinse, repeat night after night.
thrush lol. Never thought I would laugh about a Yeast infection post but count me as guilty on this one.
wow.....yogurt? Granted I know nothing about thrush....thrushi? thrushes?, but I can't imagine being the first to discover the yogurt trick or splaining how you did so. How many other things might they have tried before finding out that one works? It reminds me of that seinfeld episode......"million to one shot doc, million to one!"
BD
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