Mr UK once said that part of my appeal lies in the fact that I am clean and wholesome, but at the same time utterly, utterly filthy. I really questioned that statement, until this morning's random PoF IM conversation.
The guy had contacted me, and we'd been chatting for twenty minutes about travel and hobbies. He was looking like a potential candidate. Then he switches conversational gears:
"has anyone ever told you that you've got great lips?"
(I was cueing up the Deliverance banjos when I saw that...'you sure got a purdy mouth, boy)
(**and when I was a kid, the other kids called me 'nigger lips'. Thank God for Angelina. She made me sexy.**)
"um...yeah..."
"Can't take a compliment, huh? You know, you are really sexy."
"look, i gotta go get ready for work."
I know I am really sexy. I know a lot of guys think I am hot. I have absolutely no doubt about those sorts of things. I have no problem accepting compliments, either. But, you know, I find it incredibly offensive when people who don't know anything about me say those things out loud. It seems crass, somehow.
It must be my feminist upbringing. I don't want to be anybody's sex object, period. Now, someone who appreciates my intelligence and personality...well, that's a different story. If Mr UK told me I had really sexy lips, I'd start describing how I intended to use those sexy lips on his cock the next time I saw him. Graphically.
But then, Mr UK sees me as a whole person, maybe a sex subject, a parnter in crime, so to speak, but certainly not an object. Part of the reason he finds me sexually attractive is because he is drawn to who I am. My personality. My goals and accomplishments. The stuff you can't see. It's about more than just what I look like. And, I see him the same way. I'm comfortable with him.
Wholesome and filthy. Yeah, I guess I can see it...
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11 comments:
It's a testament to being born and raised in the south that my first reaction to this blog was, "Oh my God...she used the n-word. The whole word!" Really, it took me a few seconds to let the frisson of shock wear down.
I'm not sure what that says about me.
Anyway, I'm feelin' ya, dawg.
It is completely different when someone I know, and who knows me, gives me a compliment - any compliment, sexual overtones or no - than it is when it comes from a total stranger. My bullshit meter immediately starts beeping -- What does he want? What does he think that's going to get him? How stupid does he think I am? Etc.
So, yea. "You have really pretty lips" from a stranger or someone I don't know well would get "And you're not getting anywhere near them" from me.
If you don't know the person, the compliment seems insincere.
Damn. No one ever tells me that I have sexy lips. Not even strangers.
Devil's Advocate stepping forward...
I wonder how much the medium can explain in this particular instance. The electronic –potentially– skews everything. And this is a 'hook-up' site you were on, yes?
I'm not condoning or trying to defend what he said. I'm just wondering if maybe things get nebulous in this being-defined-as-it's-being-explored arena.
Personally, I think your verve is sexy. : P
I'm SO with you on this one. If they really don't care to know ME, before they start commenting on the package I walk around in, pffft, NEXT!
I actually felt a similar as SWF thing on reading "the 'n' word".
I don't think I'D mind being a sex object! Maybe that's just 'cause I'm a guy.
'de de ding ding ding ding ding ding ding'
My favourite tune when the inbreds turn up in the pub! I think they think I'm weird twanging that everytime they walk into the pub!
Vi:
Was that dueling banjoes?
Sorry about the n-word, guys. I don't think it's quite as loaded here as it is in other places, and I really didn't mean it to be shocking/offensive.
SWF - I think you hit the nail on the head about 'insincerity'.
Mist - I suspect you get plenty of compliments.
Prob - now here's a funny thing. We've never met. For all I know, we could have been in the same line at Tim Horton's last week. Or you could be a crazed axe-murderer. Whatever. But I'm not at all offended by you thinking my 'verve' is sexy. That is part of my personality, which is totally different. Strange...
Tshirt - that's it exactly
lefty - yeah, I think it's different for guys. Totally different.
VI - I loved that movie...
Oh, I'm with you on this one, speedwobble...reminds me of the
sexiest thing I ever heard a man to me: he wanted to fuck my brain.
The day that men figure out that woman want to be desired for what's on the inside, I think world peace, pigs flying and the riddle of the sphinx will be achieved...
And no biggie on the n-word...even though they've banned it in NYC...only in America...
Happy Thursday!
Eileen - yep, definately was!
Speedie, you don't need to apologize about the n-word. Speaking for myself only, the hangup and shock is all on my side and a result of environment/upbringing. No biggie.
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